Week 19 - It moves.
The Creature is beginning to morph. Taking on more of a character that will follow her beyond my womb and as she breathes the air on this beautiful earth.
She is becoming not only a "she.." but a daughter... Aila.
Through the dreamscape she has been teaching me how to connect with her. How to seed an attachment that can grow from these seeds. She is teaching me not just how to attach to her, but how to protect her.. how to feel protective over her.
And this morning, for sure first certain time... I felt her move from the outside.It's been already about a week and a half or two that I've been able to feel her distinct motions within me. At first feeling like these foreign involuntary muscle spasms and then moving into feeling like somehow more diligent movements. Like they were more purposeful. Or perhaps.. controlled.
But with the feeling of a knee or elbow or something alive upon my fingertips resting above my belly - the realization (not that I didn't know, but that now it's an embodied knowing rather than conceptual) set in that this is flesh and bones. Being created within me. Transforming into a being that shall grow to be a full-grown human.
And I took a moment to thank and appreciate this magnificent body of mine. For giving me the opportunity to experience this journey. To walk the path of Becoming Mother. For having the strength and wisdom to create at the very base level of humanness - creating another living form.
Taking a moment to sip my cacao (it's Ora mystical mushroom, by the way - simply Divine. Here's my discount code for you if you'd like to try some yourself.) ...Did you know we played with naming her Divina? It was probably the front-runner for a while. my dear friend, Lola (a beautiful embodiment coach - check out her insta here) offered it as one that came to her shortly after she discovered I was pregnant.
Goodness. I'm realizing there's so much I desire to share.. Which makes sense. This is really the first time I have sat with a keyboard with the intention of sharing some experience about this. I've just been deeply in it. Life has been full... moving across country, twice, and further, running two businesses while dissolving from who I've once been.
I am a different person than the one that's shown up here before. Which is why I'm starting fresh.
Today I think though, is not for diving into the back story of the last 18 weeks or even the months before that that my body was prepping me to become with child. But! I did just make a list of all the things I have "backlogged" to share with you. I'll aim to do one a day but also - I'm a being who listens... deeply.. and I regularly take time off screens. So please forgive my humanness and prioritization of aliveness as I reveal more and yet more of who I've once been and who I'm becoming. And invite you into such intimate spaces that I feel we shall know each other quite well in no time at all.
Plus - I invite you to feel across the fields of energy that span beyond time and get a feel for who I am. What I represent. The life I've lived and way that I walk through this dance that is Aliveness. For that is what I am in service to - Aliveness. I have opened myself to you to tap in. Tune in and begin to receive, should you so choose. And don't worry about taking too much - I have such beautiful agreements arranged, you will not rock me.
Perhaps one of these days I'll write too about the creation of agreements, filters, and boundaries. And also - the limitation of all of the above.
But for now, I must share what is pressing to come through me.
And! I have such a lovely work set up now out on my lanai. Give me cacao (link), warm sunshine, a beautiful view, and set me to my work. Creation is the backbone from which I move as I allow myself to be moved.
Thank you for joining me for this first conversation.
I look forward to our connecting tomorrow.
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Eventually, I'll be updating and offering my Hot Stuff Recipe book to those that want to sign up so they can join me for a morning cuppa - but if you join me before then, don't worry - I'll send you that and more, as it's ready. I'm just getting back in the groove of things.
My two existing businesses have been in maintenance mode and I'm again ready to play. Second trimester baby, I'm here for it!
See you soon my love.
-J
